The Autistic Counsellor

Qualified, but still studying

So, I’m a qualified counsellor. In the UK, where the term “counsellor” is not yet a protected title, it is considered that anyone who has a qualification at level 4 and above is suitably qualified to provide mental health therapy to those who need it. I’m at level 5 and am currently studying level 6 but I still don’t feel like a professional.

When will this “professional” feeling kick in? Is it because I’m still fairly new to this, despite studying for 4 years? Or is it autism and an internalised sense of ableism?

It’s hard to shake off the language of the DSM where I am considered to have deficits in everything from knowing how to appropriately respond to others, being able to communicate clearly, to behaving without being restricted by repetitive behaviours. But this is not all of who I am…

I have such deep empathy for others that I can literally “feel” their emotions. This both helps and hinders in therapy, many clients don’t want their therapist to fall apart before their eyes. I have to hold it together but by showing some emotion with clients it lets them know that they are understood, that I get it.

Also, my autistic experience has shown me what depression and anxiety truly feel like. I have existed in the abyss and found a way out. This has shown me that it’s possible and that there is always hope.

I don’t know who I am trying to convince I am worthy of being a therapist…

Actually I do.

Myself.

First assignment feedback

Sorry I’ve been so quiet lately, I’ve had a lot going on.

So I submitted my first assignment in December and got the feedback in the middle of January. I passed! is the first thing.

We needed 40% to pass & were told students usually start low & gradually get better marks so I aimed for 50s & that’s what I got which I was really happy about but at the same time made me feel quite low. This mood lasted for about a few weeks but was most intense for the first week. I just couldn’t do anything because I didn’t have the brain capacity to read or learn anything extra so I took a few weeks to focus on self care & really kind of withdrew from everything that wasn’t required of me.

I’m much better now & submitted my second assignment in February, I’ll let you know how this one goes! 🤞

I’ve started studying…

So, I started a month ago but as its part time I’ve only actually done 4 days. My class is great & my lecturer is a fantastic person with years of experience.

Of course, that was only month 1. Things will look rosey to start with, won’t they?

For the first 2 days our 2 classes were together. I like to use the time when nobody knows anyone to listen & see what people’s views are on a broad range of subjects & of course, about autism. After this I decide whether to disclose it to anyone.

On the 3rd day we were split into our classes, there’s 11 in mine. We were further split into our skills practice groups. Someone in my skills group disclosed that they have ADHD which made me feel better about telling them about myself & when I did, it was received very well.

On the 4th day I ate lunch with a group from my class & the conversation turned to the traits of Autism. Someone said that they’d heard that “everyone is a little bit autistic” & I couldn’t help but put them straight. Don’t worry, I did it in a nice way 😉. I ended up disclosing my diagnosis to them as well.

It’s generally been received well but I’ve had some comments like that I hide it very well, they never would have guessed, I’m very normal still 🤔. I know some of them are completely new to Autism so I’m choosing not to be offended. I hope they’re taking things I say on board though. These people are future therapists who will end up seeing some autistic clients, I hope that by talking about it I’m making it better for both parties in the future.

Student finance & imposter syndrome

So, I had my interview a few weeks ago now. Maybe almost a month ago. I was told the same day that I had been offered a place on the foundation degree course but I have been putting off applying for student finance.

I guess I didn’t believe I got in. I thought I couldn’t do it, like I’m not good enough. I would be of no value on this course & wouldn’t have any meaningful impact on anyone.

The imposter syndrome is real right now.

Im autistic, how could I possibly be a good counsellor/therapist?! I don’t do people very well, how can I gel as part of the class? How can I accept criticism healthy or otherwise?

I have no idea how I’m going to do but I’ve got a place & have just applied for student finance so I’m going to give it a cracking good go!

I was accepted to the Foundation Degree 🥴

So, I had my interview for a place on the foundation degree in counselling & I’ve been offered a place!

My autistic personality really shone through & I really thought that I’d talked myself out of a place but to my surprise the interviewers said they appreciated my honesty.

I’ve started reading books by the main theorists in preparation for starting the course in September. Well, I’ve started one book so far but hey, I have to start somewhere.

I will try to post throughout my studies & hopefully beyond so post frequency will start hotting up in a few months.

Studying in my thirties & now knowing that I’m autistic is a scary prospect but I’m going to give it a go!